Dating Mentor James Preece 

Dating Mentor and Dating Coach James Preece knows it isn’t easy to mentally prepare yourself for a first date. They are always so nerve-wracking to most people. On the brighter side, you can take comfort in knowing your date feels the same way. They are just as nervous as you are and equally as worried about how the date is going to go. For all the same reasons. Right there, you have something to bond over! In fact, making a light joke about the awkwardness of a first date can often ease the tension of it. Keep in mind that humour, when used properly, is a great tool.

You can immediately let some of your nerves go, knowing they are going through the same thing. Next, you have to remind yourself that this isn’t a job interview. You don’t have to ask a million questions or have the perfect answers for the ones you might be asked. You’re both trying to get the feel for each other and there are no right or wrong answers. There might be uncomfortable subjects approached, but you can always steer your date in a different direction. If necessary, you can openly express that you’re uncomfortable with the subject matter. You want to be on the same page. The date will go smooth and there WILL be a second date. Maybe even more that follow. That’s not going to happen if you’re worrying yourself too much.

Your future doesn’t lie on outcome of this date. So take it easy!

Preparing yourself starts before the date does. I tell my dating coaching clients to do a quick run through of the date in their heads before they even set off. Imagine everything going really well from start to finish. That way you have something to aim for and to make you feel positive.

But it doesn’t stop when the date starts. You can either choose to stress about everything or you can just relax and let things progress naturally. The best dates are the ones that you don’t spend too much time obsessing over. Of course, you want to have a plan in mind for your date. But, you’re not going to want to plan the entire thing out completely. It’s not supposed to be that serious but rather a fun and relaxed experience for both of you.

You want to choose locations that will encourage communication. Ultimately, that’s what you’ll have to do over the course of the date. At the same time, you don’t want to feel like you’re talking too much about yourself or asking them too many questions. Finding a balance can really help. A good way to find that balance is choosing locations that allow for conversation topics. A museum or art gallery provide you with hours of stimulating conversation. This can really take some of the pressure off. While you want to get to know them by asking questions, sometimes observing their behaviour is a better sign. Notice how they view the exhibits and what they have to say. Are they strong-willed or do they appear to be indifferent to most of what they are seeing? These are good traits to know right off the bat. 

There are many people who start to worry again as the date is nearing completion. The question of how to end the date is often lingering in the back of your mind. Do you kiss your date goodnight or do you wait for them to kiss you? The best advice for closing the date is that you let it close itself. If it feels natural to go for the kiss, go for it. If your date seems stiff, back off.

Again, your future doesn’t depend on how well this date goes. If you want it to go well, you just have to focus on enjoying yourself and your date.

If you need some help with that – please hire me as your Dating Mentor.  Or if things go perfectly please check out my best second date ideas here.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.

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