Guest Blog:Misconceptions from Romantic Comedies

I’m delighted to bring you a very special guest blog from  “Misadventures Finding the One

Growing up, I watched a lot of movies and most of them were either Disney or Romantic Comedies.  I’m not even going to go into the Disney thing, but let’s just say that I had a lot of misconceptions about what romance was (see Fantasy vs Reality: Blind Dates).  Recently, as I was binge watching Rom Coms, I started thinking about these misconceptions and thought that I would share with you, partially for laughs, but also to ensure that we are staying realistic in our expectations.

Love at First Site?

In most Romantic Comedies, the girl and guy have either known each other for years or they have some “meet cute.”  It doesn’t seem like the girl has to work at all, because the guy of her dreams just shows up (even if she doesn’t recognize it at first).  He can be the guy that saves her from a dumpster like in the Wedding Planner or the guy that she grew up with (and is married to) in Sweet Home Alabama.

The Wedding Planner

The problem is, that it doesn’t always happen that way.  I moved around a lot as a kid, so I never thought that “the one” was someone that I already knew.  Instead, I waited for some movie worthy first interaction to happen, which would allow me to know that he was the one.  Unfortunately, it never showed up and I realized that I actually had to make an effort in order to meet guys (which if you’re following my Misadventures, you know is going really well).

Prince Charming Types

Once the girl and guy meet, there are usually four main types of “Prince Charmings” which are circulated in Romantic comedies.  There is the best friend like Pete in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton , the opposition such as Joe Fox in You’ve Got Mail, the unavailable guy (usually a boss) like Danny in Just Go with It, the mentor such as Zack in She’s All That and finally the immature guy like Jack in What Happens in Vegas.  Each type of guy comes with his own set of stereotypical scenarios.

 

Prince Charmings

 

My favorites were always the best friend and the opposing guy.  This meant that any time I started to become friendly with a guy, I immediately started thinking about him romantically.  That has yet to work and can cause issues trying to be friends with guys.  I also have never experienced the type of opposition that you find in Hollywood.  Don’t get me wrong, there have been guys that have irritated me, but not enough to write a story about.  Even so, I find myself still searching for one of the “Prince Charmings” when most guys don’t fall into either category and I could be overlooking the perfect guy for me.

The Misunderstanding/Secret

Usually, from the beginning of the relationship, there is some kind of secret or misunderstanding which temporarily keeps the couple apart and which they have to overcome.  It can be mistaken identity such as in Lover Come Back or Down with Love. Or the fact that the whole relationship is based on a bet like in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days to name one.  But whatever it is, it can tear the couple apart but somehow they are able to overcome.

Lover Come Back

I have to admit that I’ve never dealt with anything like this, but I just don’t understand how something like this could work out in real life.  Sometimes it doesn’t seem like it’s that big of a deal, but if it’s the level of misunderstanding or secrets that we usually see in Hollywood, how do people get passed it?  If a relationship doesn’t have drama like this, we think that there is something wrong.  We want to feel that gut churning sensation, but then when it happens, it’s just too much.

Happily Ever After

The big kiss, the music swells and you just know that everything will be okay.  You never see the struggles that people have to go through after the Happily Ever After.  So for me, the anticipation of a relationship has been much more interesting than the reality of one.  I guess this has worked for me since I haven’t really had a long term relationship, but doesn’t bode well for future relationships…

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Romantic Comedies are full of unrealistic expectations.  They teach us about love at first sight and that you don’t have to work at it, because the guy of your dreams will just appear.  We also think that he has to fit into one of the swoon worthy types that we typically see in Romantic Comedies and that there needs to be some type of drama to make the relationship interesting.  Then it will end in Happily Ever After and we won’t have to work on anything else.  Unfortunately, none of that is realistic and if we want to have genuine relationships, we need to realize that there is more to love than what we find in Rom Coms.
What misconceptions of relationships did you grow up with because of Rom Coms?  Have you experienced anything Hollywood worthy in your relationships?

About ” Misadventures Finding the One” blog 

I recently started the Misadventures Finding the One blog in order to share some of the embarrassing things that I’ve done or the hilarious dates that I’ve gone on, in order to bring laughter but more importantly to share hope.  Why am I qualified for this?  Unfortunately at 28 (almost 29 years of age), I still haven’t found “the one.” But I’m not giving up!  I know that he is out there somewhere but he probably got lost because he wouldn’t ask for directions.  So until he shows up, I will continue to search for him and live my life to the fullest, because I don’t want to waste my life waiting for him.  I’ve also made a ton of mistakes when it comes to guys and I’m willing to share, so that you might not have to go through the same.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru

James Preece is the Dating Guru.


He is the UK’s leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.