Relationship Expert Guide to Staying Positive in Dating

Anyone who has been dating for a few years knows a bit about the ups and downs. Well, that’s almost everyone, isn’t it? The thing is, it can be hard to stay positive, when so many people are swiping left on our profiles. Sometimes, we start chatting with the perfect-sounding someone, only to find out they are not who we were hoping. Yes, the dating pool can leave you discouraged, and wondering what the point of it all is. Finding love may seem too difficult to keep trying to do. In fact, you may want to give up hope and get yourself a few cats instead. As the UK’s best relationship expert I bring you hope. Before retiring your love life, try to see it with a new spin!

The most important thing you have to do is remember that every encounter is an experience. There is no “win” or “lose” when it comes to dating. You can view everything as a learning curve, or a stepping stone to something better. Although that second option isn’t always the first thing that comes to mind. It’s hard to stay THAT positive. But, it’s not hard to see everything as something, even when it feels like nothing.

As human beings, we are always striving to learn and improve ourselves. Our love lives should be no different. This may involve improving your tactics or your strategy. It may involve having some dating coaching sessions to brush up on your dating skills. There’s no harm in trying to expand your knowledge of the dating pool and the fish in the sea.

The next step to staying positive is remembering there is someone out there. We’re not talking about that “perfect someone” who will suit every need you have and fit every ideal. There is no such thing as perfection. That’s relative. Everything is perfect, if that’s how you want to choose to see it. But there IS someone out there who is going through the same thing as you. Someone who is struggling to get a date, or to further a conversation with someone they are interested in. In fact, there are many many people out there in the same boat. We all like to think we have a good lead on things. Often, we have no idea what we’re doing. We trip and stumble through the situations and come out lucky or unlucky in love.

That’s the next step: Understand that there is always a chance. There is a chance things will go great on your next date, or they will go terrible. There is no way you can guarantee the outcome of anything, after all. So at some point, you have to be willing to take risks.

Risk-takers aren’t always the happiest, but they have less “what if”s under their belt. Maybe that’s the real secret right there. You don’t want to think about the chances you didn’t take. The things you didn’t do. The things you didn’t say. If you want to ask someone out, do it. Don’t be so afraid of everything falling apart that you don’t try to build something in the first place. Things fall apart sometimes. It happens and you don’t need a relationship expert to tell you that!

Finally, the best thing you can do is accept all of the above. The true guide to positivity is by acceptance. You can hold your head above the water knowing that so many others are doing the same thing. You’re not alone. Which means, you won’t always feel alone, either.

If you’d like some help with your love life then let me be your relationship coach

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru

James Preece is the Dating Guru.


He is the UK’s leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.