How To Save A Failing Relationship

Do you want to save a failing relationship ? As much as we want to believe that love will always find a way, sometimes, we have to help it along. A relationship takes hard work from both people involved. If neglected, it will fall into disrepair. Once you get to that point, it can be hard to save what you thought you had. As someone who wants their relationship to work, you have to nurture it, prevent it from getting to that point. But, let’s be honest, sometimes, it can’t be helped. As people, we are constantly growing. Sometimes, we end up growing away from our relationships without even realizing it. Then we wonder how everything is falling apart.

If you’re at that point, I have some Dating Expert suggestions to help you save a failing relationship.

Evaluate

There comes a time in every relationship where you have to stop and evaluate where you are. More importantly, you have to consider where you want to be. This is both in your personal life, and in your relationship. There are many people who believe the two to be separate, but they aren’t. For example, if you’re unhappy with your job or some other aspect of your life, your attitude could be poisoning your relationship as well. So it’s a good idea to keep yourself on track. Evaluation will help you decide what you want more of and what you want less of in your life.

You may notice your relationship isn’t where you want it to be. Maybe your partner is pulling away and you’re trying to figure out what is going on. You’re trying everything you can think of to revive the romance and see it through. Everything you do seems to have the opposite effect, pushing them further and further away. You have to ask yourself if you really want to save the relationship in the first place. Be honest with yourself about that too. Many people want to believe in a future with someone, but are trying too hard to force it. You may realize you’re trying to force a connection that isn’t there. If you see this relationship in your future, you need to get on the same page with your partner.

Communicate

When a relationship starts to fail, there are two ways it can go. You talk and decide to work harder to keep your love alive, or you realize that you’re both of very different pages. When it comes to evaluating the romance, your partner should be involved. One of the greatest mistakes people make in a relationship is trying to guess what the problem is, fix it themselves. Do not be afraid to ask your partner if they are unhappy. You can’t fix something you don’t know is broken. Silence is never the answer.

The most common cause for failing relationships is a lack of communication. Then the only real way to save your relationship is by opening a line between yourself and your partner. Before you make any decisions about your future together, you have to be able to talk. Your partner may not be comfortable telling you that they are unhappy. Many partners keep that to themselves, afraid of the reaction. They can’t explain why they are unhappy, just that they are. So you have to create a safe space, where your partner feels comfortable expressing their feelings.

Yes, this may involve a therapist or couples counselling. Don’t discredit the service as it has saved many marriages. By providing a third party, you create a different atmosphere. Your partner will open up, and you should do the same. You need to get to the root of your issues if you want to save the relationship. Don’t hold back. It might hurt to hear or say what needs to be said. But after the pain, you can work together on healing the wounds. If you keep it to yourself, the relationship is going to fall apart. You have to decide, which is more painful:  working together to save a failing relationship or splitting up.

Demonstrate

Everyone knows the saying “talk is cheap”. If there are problems in your relationship, it isn’t enough to simply acknowledge them. Your actions have to speak louder than your words. If you agreed to change something about your habits, then make a conscious effort to change that habit. When your partner feels you aren’t listening, you’ll be right back at square one. There are only so many times someones wants to hear “I’ll try harder” or “I’m sorry” before they give up believing in the words. You never want your partner to question the sincerity of your words So bring them to life.

This goes both ways, of course. You and your partner need to actively demonstrate the agreements you’ve made to move the relationship forward.

You’re allowed to forget on occasion, so are they. Change doesn’t happen over night. But as long as you’re making an effort, your partner will see that. This will send the message that you’re committed to making to trying to save a failing relationship no matter what.

Congratulate

It’s not hard to overcome the trials of a relationship. Many people are inclined to let them fall apart, not caring about the results. You put in the effort to try and save your relationship. Then you opened the bridge for communication with your partner and likely heard things you weren’t ready to hear. You showed the initiative to save your relationship. That’s more than most people can say. Congratulate yourself for your efforts. Not too much though. You’ve still got work to do, after all. Relationships are living objects that need constant care. It’s never “done”, there’s no permanence. So don’t get ahead of yourself.

You should also make sure you congratulate your partner as well. It’s not easy for either party to address the issues of a relationship. If your partner said hurtful things about the relationship, trust that it was hard for them to do. They didn’t take joy in saying things that might hurt you. You both know that it had to be done.

You had to acknowledge the problems and take actions to correct them, But you did, and you overcame it. You’ll be stronger together in the future.

 

Of course, some relationships can’t be saved. Some people will be manipulative and lead you on. Sometimes trying to save a failing relationship doesn’t work because it was never good in the first place. Those situations are much rarer  than people who genuinely drift apart.

If things don’t work out you might want to start again. Contact me for help with choosing a dating agency or finding a new partner.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.

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