How to turn dating into a relationship quickly

Many dating coaching clients come to me with a big issue – commitment.  In the age of online dating, dating apps and short romances, dating can sometimes become a hobby.  This is rather than a full blown journey to get to know each other.  So here’s some really quick advice that should hopefully help!

You’ve been seeing your ‘special friend’ for a while now. Things are great and your feelings towards them are developing quickly. This is the best time in any looming relationship because nothing is guaranteed.  This adds that extra thrill and keeps you at your best. But a lot of daters forget that they are also at their most vulnerable when it comes to emotion and expectation – your relationship status is not official and you cannot guarantee that you are both exclusive to each other, which makes the ‘what are we’ conversation pivotal to moving forward harmoniously.

Before you ask them where you stand, it is better to look for signs that your date wants the same thing.  This is the fastest way to avoid disappointment if you want to turn dating into a relationship. Men are normally very territorial if they are interested in a particular woman. You will notice this as feelings grow. He might just come straight out with “I want you to be my girlfriend”. Women tend to be more subtle and will play the long game.

Other clues include wanting you to meet family and friends or talking a lot about the future with you.  They will also be 100% consistent with communication. If you want exclusivity, you have to be open and speak your mind.

Who should say I love you?

I often get asked about who should be the first to say “I love you” once you establish a relationship.  There’s no right or wrong answer here and it really doesn’t have to be the man OR the woman. The bottom line is this:  If you feel it, say it!  Life is too short to play games and if they don’t say it back then don’t panic.  One of you has to get the ball rolling.

There is no point wasting time on someone who doesn’t want anything serious. It shouldn’t be hard work trying to turn dating into a relationship. I have a dating coaching client who once dated a guy for almost a year. He had the hope of settling down eventually. It never happened and she turned out to be a serial dater with multiple men on the go.  I sent him to a dating agency where the women were serious and he moved on pretty quickly. 

If you ask the status question and get a negative reply, accept that as your answer. Then decide whether dating this person is enough at present, or whether it’s better to move onto someone more serious.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.
james preece dating coach

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