Unhealthy Relationship Guest Blog

Your relationship should have a positive impact on your life. Period. Sure, there may be times when you’re fighting and feel bad. In the grand scheme of things, these times should be fleeting.

If you’re thinking about whether you should continue a romantic relationship, it may be time to take a step back and reevaluate a few things.

First, why do you want to be in a romantic relationship?

In order for a relationship to be healthy, you must be in a healthy emotional state. Think about what you want out of this partnership and ask yourself if it’s reasonable. Personal happiness is one good example of an unreasonable request.

Happiness comes from within. If you’re looking to another person for personal fulfillment, you will always be disappointed.

Once you have evaluated your own intentions, take a closer look at the relationship dynamics. If you notice any of these seven signs, you may be in an unhealthy relationship.

1.      You sweep things under the rug

You can’t bear another argument, so you let this one little thing slide. You have to pick your battles, right? Although this is true, if you’re avoiding important issues to keep the peace or pretending you’re okay when you’re hurting, there’s a problem.

Try discussing the problem with your partner. If it seems too overwhelming, start by addressing that you’ve been avoiding conflict and talk about how to proceed.

2.      You don’t trust your partner 

Intuition is a powerful force that can keep us out of harm’s way. If you’re always getting the feeling that your partner is hiding something or being dishonest, you may be right. There’s no place for secrecy in a healthy relationship, so you must address this before you can move forward.

Talk to your partner about the things that are bothering you. If you’re feeling that he or she is being dishonest, it may be time to walk away. It is possible to rebuild a relationship after one partner has broken trust, but it can only happen if both partners can be open and honest.

3.      There are communication breakdowns

Effective communication is a difficult skill to master, so don’t be too hard on yourselves if you struggle a bit. On the other hand, if communication is completely lacking or is always hostile, you be in an unhealthy relationship.

If you’re feeling like things are constantly unresolved, or you can’t talk to your partner without it turning into a fight, start with a conversation about the problem. If you cannot resolve this on your own and the relationship is worth saving, try couples counseling.

4.      Your resentment has taken over

If you find yourself always feeling angry at your partner for past mistakes, this may be a sign that your relationship has taken an unhealthy turn. It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship while harboring resentment.

5.      You have new self-esteem issues

Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify, and it comes in many forms. But if you’re feeling worse about yourself today than when you started this relationship, it may be time to end things.

If you can identify your partner as the source of your new negative self-image, this is an unhealthy relationship. Understand that your value does not lie with him or her; this will become obvious after the relationship has ended.

6.      You can’t count on your partner

What if the worst happened? These are unpleasant things to think about, but imagine a catastrophe that would rock your world. Would your partner be supportive and do whatever it takes to help you through? Or would he or she disappear? If you don’t have confidence in your partner to stay when the going gets tough, what value does he or she have to your life?

7.      Your partner is an addict

Unfortunately, addiction is a common problem today, and it has ruined many relationships. But here’s the thing about addiction: Addicts tend to hide their problem, so you may not even know the extent of their addiction. If your partner starts a new tendency to play the victim and/or seems to be hiding something, he or she may have a problem with addiction. It is possible for you to get through this together, but it is a long and challenging road. Start by talking to your partner about the addiction. If your mate shows no signs of wanting help, it may be time to walk away.

Some relationship problems are obvious and irreconcilable. If a partner is physically or verbally abusive, get out of the relationship and get help. If you think you’re struggling with something that can be resolved, try talking it out amongst yourselves or with a counselor.

 

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru

James Preece is the Dating Guru.


He is the UK’s leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.


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