Approach Anxiety and how to overcome it
Approach anxiety isn’t exactly an easy thing. You’ll see someone you would love to go up and talk to, but the idea feels so overwhelming to you. It can be a very isolating feeling and prevent you from trying to reach out to other people. The good news is that you’re not alone. There are many other people who feel exactly the same way. Just as you feel, they also feel it’s hard to meet new people. When you have approach anxiety, social interaction is one of the biggest challenges. Therefore, dating feels almost impossible. But there are solutions to overcome your approach anxiety and get out into the world.
When you’re trying to date with anxiety using the internet can a great solution. You’ll be able to meet people without feeling overwhelmed or anxious. You may feel nervous trying to come up with something to say or continuing the conversation. But you’ll also have the chance to pause between replies and compose yourself. This is a good ice-breaker for you. This can give you the opportunity to connect with a variety of people without having to step drastically out of your comfort zone. It’s a great starting point.
Of course, online dating isn’t for everyone. There are many people out there who prefer the idea of old-fashioned methods. This may mean talking to someone at a bar or striking up a conversation with someone you fancy at a bookstore or coffee shop. It’s a great mind movie that you’re playing out in your head. You approach and the conversation runs smoothly. You exchange numbers and agree to go out on a date. In reality, you end up so anxious or nervous that you never approach. The interaction only exists in your head. The trick to overcoming this is to approach it like you’re meeting up with an old friend. Try to consider this person as someone you already know. This will alleviate the anxiety involved with meeting someone for the first time. You can ask questions about how they are doing, what they are up to, etc. Be casual about the conversation and you’ll notice you’ll start to relax much more.
Now many of you probably hold a fear of rejection as well. You worry about not being interesting enough or funny enough. Really, you’re worrying that you’re just not enough in general. It’s hard to say “push that feeling aside”. You’ve likely tried. It’s something you can’t get around that easily. But there are tricks to overcoming this feeling too. One of the best methods to overcome the fear of rejection is to fake your confidence. This may take a bit of imagination and involve stepping outside of yourself for a minute. You have to imagine that you’re someone who is totally worth talking to (even if you are – you have to tell your brain to believe it for a few minutes). Once you start talking to someone, you’ll notice the confidence developing on its own. You’ll be able to continue the conversation as well as future ones without having to rely on a false confidence. This can be a major stepping stone to overcoming your fear of rejection, as well as overcoming your anxiety about dating.
The most important thing to remember when you’re dating with nervousness is that you have to be comfortable. You can’t put yourself in situations that will make you feel worse. You should meet people somewhere you’re comfortable, dress comfortable and try and talk about things you’re comfortable with and enjoy. This will also help to reduce your dating anxiety. If you’re really struggling with your anxiety, you may choose to talk to a Dating Coach for Men who can help you to better understand the reason for these feelings.