How To Get Over A Breakup

Do you want to learn how to get over a breakup? The finality of any relationship is never easy to just accept. Even if you weren’t that into a relationship, the end can still be painful. It puts so many things into question, like what went wrong? Quite often, without noticing, we end up asking ourselves if we’re just meant to be alone. There’s such a negativity to any break-up, that it’s hard to see it positively. At first.

The first step to learning how to get over a breakup is accepting that there’s nothing you can do to change it. Yes, maybe changes could have been made earlier to prevent it from coming. Now that it has, there is nothing you can do. You can’t change the other persons’ mind. Don’t even try. All you’ll do is convince them they made the right decision. Space is needed after a break-up. You need to find yourself again, they need to do the same. If you handle the break-up properly, there’s a chance you can sit down later on and discuss what went wrong. Of course, that would help you to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. There’s even a chance you might be able to be friends then start again. Not everyone wants to have that conversation, sadly. But, there’s a chance if you’re calm and collected.

Let it Go

When you realise you can’t change what has already happened, you let go of some of the negativity of the break-up. Now, you know you have to focus on changing what can happen. You stop looking at the past and wondering about mistakes and you start looking towards the brightness of the future. It’s quite simple to know how to get over a breakup once you start the process.

That’s not to say you completely forget about the person you were seeing. You don’t. You consider them, their need for time and space. It’s time to acknowledge mistakes were likely made by both parties. Then, you accept the situation. It doesn’t mean that person meant any less to you. It just means you’re choosing to see the reality of the break-up.

Once it’s over, it’s over.

The future might bring around another chance, but it’s more often an unlikely pipe dream. You don’t want to be stuck chasing the idea of something that may never happen. So let go of that idea and proceed under the reality that it is over. Repeat that to yourself, but don’t say it in a panicked way. If it came to an end, there was likely a reason. While you may never know that reason, you have to accept it exists.

Now, it’s time to pick up the pieces and move on.

That’s not saying to rush out and find someone new overnight. You need to focus on yourself, first. Whenever you’re in a relationship, you give pieces of yourself to that other person. When the relationship ends, you no longer have those pieces you gave away. So, you need to recreate those pieces. You need to make yourself whole again, before ever attempting another relationship. Sadly, many people try to fill that hole by finding new love. That is never the answer….at least not right away.  A rebound relationship will always fall through. That’s almost a guarantee. So, don’t waste your time just to end up hurt again. Take the time you need to fix yourself, then move forward.

You’ll know when you’re ready to try taking on the world. That pain in your chest will be gone. You won’t feel that hole anymore. That’s when you know you’re ready: When it finally stops hurting.

When you are ready to start again, I’d love to be your Dating Coach on your journey.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.