The beginning of a new relationship should be filled with joy. Moments of pure bliss should occupy every corner of your mind. But what if something feels off? You can’t put your finger on it though. You just feel like your partner doesn’t feel the same way as you do. It could be that your new partner is emotionally unavailable. How can you tell? By reviewing these 5 signs:


Emotionally unavailable people never make plans


Since emotionally unavailable people are uncomfortable with talking about the future. When you talk about the future, they tend to try and switch the subject. They tend to avoid making any kind of solid plans. They will often make vague references to a future time, just nothing concrete. Most plans will be last minute. If plans are made, they may arrive late or not at all. There is never a best time for dating or time when it’s right.


They seem controlling


There are different ways to exhibit control in a relationship. For instance, showering you with compliments can be a form of control. They are actively redirecting your thoughts so you’re flattered instead of pushing for intimacy. This type of control is common with emotionally unavailable people. They will often control when you get to see them as well. They may be hard to get a hold of, being talkative one minute and silent the next. They are likely to leave you on read. At times, they may come across as cocky and arrogant. These are ways to divert your attention into believing they are just being selfish. Realistically, they are afraid of getting close to someone and showing vulnerability.


They have a serious commitment problem


The first thing you’ll notice about someone who is emotionally unavailable is they won’t put a title on the relationship. Since having a title means the relationship actually matters to them, it makes them vulnerable. Instead, the relationship will remain undetermined so they can pretend they don’t really care either way. You’ll pour your heart and soul into the relationship, but you’ll never get the same in return.


They will not talk about feelings


When you start asking personal questions, you’ll know if your partner is emotionally unavailable. They will try and change the subject. They will steer the conversation back to lighter topics. They are evasive when asked directly about emotions. Overall, they avoid anything to do with feelings. This may make the individual seem disinterested, but it’s actually because they don’t know how to describe their own feelings. They may listen to your feelings, but will never talk about their own. You might know when you are in love but they never if it’s reciprocated or not.


Emotionally Unavailable people are not affectionate


There are some people who are just not affectionate. This alone doesn’t mean they lack emotional availability. If they aren’t affectionate and don’t discuss emotional things, there’s a good chance they are just cut off. When a person is emotionally unavailable, they tend to feel uncomfortable with affection. This includes being affectionate as well as receiving the affection of others. If you push for affection, they may become defensive for no apparent reason. This is because they feel any type of intimacy is too intense.


Falling in love with someone who lacks emotional availability is hard. You may have a great connection with that person, but it will never quite be enough. They will always be out of reach. This is a problem within them and they need to correct it for themselves. You won’t be able to influence that change. You’ll have to accept them as they are or face that the relationship will never move forward.

Ultimately, the choice is up to you.