Relationships can be hard to maintain. Sometimes, it becomes exhausting. Even if you love someone deeply, the relationship can feel like too much work. It can be tempting to just walk away, rather than avoid the stress. If you’re feeling overwhelmed in your current relationship, it’s time to evaluate what the relationship means to you. You have a few options:
Get Coaching
Talk about the issues that you’re facing alone and as a couple. Air out your pet peeves and anything that’s weighing you down. This can help you to determine if there are underlying issues that can be fixed.
Walk Away
If it feels like there’s nothing keeping you together, it might be time to just let go. This is a particularly healthy option if you already feel like you’ve given up on the relationship. If you both feel the same about the relationship, then it’s easy to make this decision. If your partner is still holding on, you can feel a guilt complex about wanting to leave. You have to rise above that and realize that your own mental well-being is just as important as your partner’s happiness. You have to know when to walk away for your own sake. At the same time, you want to be sure of the decision. You don’t want to walk away too soon. Also remember that when you break up with someone, it’s healthy to have a clean split. This means no communication following the weeks after the break-up. If you want to be friends later, that’s fine. But it’s just not an option right away. The only exception to this is if the split was amicable and you both agreed the fire just went out.
Going on a Break
This means, essentially, putting the relationship on pause. Now a lot of people are skeptical about this – especially if you’ve watched a few episodes of the TV show Friends ! Many suggest it’s the cowardly way of breaking off a romantic interest. You decide to go on a break and before long, you’re seeing other people. This isn’t always the case. If you end up breaking up, there’s a good chance that you weren’t going to work things out in the end. Most of the time, taking a break is meant to help the two of you realize how much you mean to each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
Now it can be tricky to determine which option is best for your and your partner. If neither of you want to break up, relationship coaching is the best option available. Your coach might suggest taking some time apart. The reason this is a common suggestion is because we tend to lose sight of ourselves in a relationship. Time apart gives you the chance to reconnect with yourself, your friends and your interests. This can be beneficial and give you a clear perspective on your life and what is important. This doesn’t mean you going on a break though. You can maintain your relationship and set aside time to be away from each other. This can help you both to build a stronger connection.
Time apart could have the opposite effect. Even if you’re still together, you may find you actually prefer to be without your partner. If that’s the case, you’re obviously going to have to take a harder look at breaking up. Of course you won’t always be on the same page as your partner. Going on a break may result in two different decisions. One of you may want to work things out while the other just wants it to be over.
It’s hard to know what the result is going to be. There is no right or wrong answer to this decision. You have to do what feels right for your relationship. Just make sure you’re communicating with your partner about what is going on. If you’re going to take a break, does that mean you’re free to see other people? Are you going to stay exclusive and just spend time apart? How often are you going to maintain contact? Often when “going on a break” fails, it’s because communication wasn’t clear. Set your boundaries before starting this journey or you may as well break up now.
