How To Play Hard To Get

There are many debates about whether playing hard to get actually works. From a psychological stand point, women who play hard to get are more appealing to men. This is because men feel those women are more valuable as partners. Firstly, they must have options or they would be desperate. Secondly, they are independent and aren’t going to be clingy. These are the things men value in a new relationship. Men are also attracted to the mystery. If they don’t know how you feel about them, they tend to think of you more often, which is a bonus.

For a woman, playing hard to get is a great way to get rid of those who aren’t serious about her. Men who are only slightly interested couldn’t be bothered to play the waiting game and will simply move on. This saves time and energy for both parties. A women who plays hard to get is confident and knows her own value. She isn’t interested in wasting her time.

If you want to be one of these women and learn how to play hard to get, follow these instructions:

  1. Keep your distance.

When he calls, let the call go to your voice mail. Return his call in a few hours or the next day. You may even turn down his first date and ask him to choose a later time. Make him wait a few days before you’ll see him again. This allows time to build suspense and keeps you close in his thoughts. A potential partner should be willing to invest time in getting to know you.

  1. Keep yourself busy.

If you really want to learn how to play hard to get with someone you like, busy yourself. Do something else with your time, like devoting yourself to your community. You could pick up extra shifts at work or go out more with your friends. You can even busy yourself with hobbies. By decreasing the amount of time you can spend with someone, you’ll increase their interest in you. After all, we always appreciate what we have to work for more than what is given to us.

  1. Limit his access to you.

Don’t give him multiple ways to contact you. If you’re giving him your phone number, don’t give him your social media accounts or your email address. By restricting his ability to contact you, you’re controlling the interaction. Plus, you’re preventing him from looking you up online and finding out you’re not as distant and cold as you’re pretending to be.

  1. Be fun and flirt.

If you act cold and distant all the time, he’s not going to think you’re interested. You want to learn to flirt and be a little playful. At the same time, you want to limit any real physical contact. You can use minor contact, such as touching his arm or shoulder, to let him know you’re attracted to him. “Accidental” brushes against him will drive him wild. Don’t hug him or kiss him. Leave him wanting more of your touch. This helps to build the mystery of you.

  1. Use your intuition.

There will come a time when you’ll have to start being more available. Otherwise, he’ll think you’re just not interested in him. Make sure that you’re letting him know you are, even when you’re being distant. You have to know when to push him away and when to pull him closer. It can take work to find the proper balance, but it is rewarding once you do.

Learning how to play hard to get won’t work for everyone. If he is interested in you, he’ll want to see more of you. If he’s undecided or uninterested, he’s not going to chase you. You could end up on your own if you don’t do things the right way.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.