Online Dating Frustration – The Solution

For many people, dating online is commonplace. All over the world there are dating sites looking to connect like-minded individuals. Speciality dating websites pop-up all the time to help narrow down the criteria. It seems effortless, scrolling through profiles and sending short and witty messages off to people you’re interested in. But the reality is that it can often lead to online dating frustration.  

You’ve likely been in this situation: You’ve got a profile made and you’re sending a thought out message to someone. You eagerly await a response, but it never comes. You thought the message was good. Did you say something wrong? Was it something wrong with your profile? Did they not get the message? The questions are endless. But the solution to online dating frustration can be simple.

If you’re used to online dating you know that there’s a different mindset. It’s not like dating in person. The best dating sites allow you to prescreen possible matches, eliminating those you feel are a waste of time. Unfortunately, this means many people will look over someone who is amazing just because something was missing from the profile. When you’re meeting in person, you can get a feel for other people and they can get a feel for you. Online dating lacks that luxury. The first impression anyone sees is your profile. As a Dating Mentor I’ve written many books about this.

Here’s a quick check-list to make sure you’re getting the most out of your page:

–  Have a clear picture of your face set as your default.
– You aren’t using photoshopped or enhanced pictures.
– You have multiple pictures, not just your default.
– Your profile talks about your personality.
– Your profile is easy to read.
– You have clearly outlined the kind of person you’re looking for.
– You don’t sound picky, but you sound confident.
– Your profile comes across as alluring.

If you’re meeting the criteria, the next step is to analyze the type of messages you’re sending out. There’s a chance you’re using a template. Many people do when it comes to online dating. You send a similar message to every potential interest that tells them about yourself and asks a couple questions. Then you end the message with “I’d love to chat sometime” and you press send.

There are a few reasons your message might not get a response:

– Perhaps you don’t sound genuinely interested.
– You talk too much about yourself and don’t ask enough questions.
– You didn’t read their profile and asked something that was answered in the profile.
– You sound too eager, almost desperate, to meet someone.
– You mention something about a recent break-up/past relationship.
– You openly express your baggage in the first message.

If you’re doing any of the above, it’s time to fact-check. Firstly, you need to thoroughly read any dating profile before sending a message. The best way to get a response is by asking a follow-up question to something mentioned in the profile. This shows them that you’re genuinely interested. It also shows that you’re obviously paying attention because you read through the profile. Plus, using any information from their profile makes the message sound more personal. The reason it’s best to ask questions is that it gives them something to answer. There’s a reason to message you back. You want to encourage a response.

Of course, you may want to talk about yourself in the first message to try and allure attention. It’s tempting, but limit yourself. You don’t want to come across as a salesperson trying to sell yourself. Make sure you don’t want to seem eager or desperate by pouring your heart into a message. Instead,try to be clever and keep it simple. Express something about yourself that isn’t on your profile, but make it interesting! Make it something that someone would want to ask questions about or learn more about. This is another great way to open the conversation.

Online dating frustration can be overwhelming. It’s often impersonal and leaves too much room for judgemental people. You can’t change the stigma. All you can do is stay the course and be yourself. Don’t let it stop you as you will meet someone amazing. You just have to be patient and you have to persevere.