Is a long-distance relationship right for you? In some scenarios, couples have long and successful relationships despite the distance between them. One way to look at it is that the distance will be temporary. Ideally, at some point, you will both move to the same country and live together. Still, the initial stages of this type of relationship can be hard for lots of people. There’s plenty to consider, so here are a few things to think about before starting a long-distance relationship:
There must be trust between you
It’s possible to be with someone that lives in a different country or city if you don’t trust them. They’ll spend a lot of time away from you, so you need to feel confident that they’re faithful. If you can’t trust them and you constantly get paranoid, this isn’t the relationship for you. Some people feel far more comfortable and trustworthy when they’re close to their partner. It’s probably because there are too many unknowns when you have a long-distance relationship. You have no idea what they’re doing, so you find it hard to build trust.
Consider all the legal implications
Yes, this is a boring and non-romantic thing to think about! However, long-distance relationships will come with legal implications in a lot of cases. Mainly, we’re talking about travel visas and earning the right to stay or live in a different country. If you want to live together, one of you will need to move. This means the other has to get the proper immigration documents, followed by indefinite leave to remain later on down the line. It’s very annoying and complex, but you have to be aware of it. For some people, this is enough to put you off a long-distance relationship altogether. You just want to enjoy your life – why worry about all the legal documents and paying for immigration lawyers, and so on?
Is there an end in sight?
This point is pretty deep, but it’s something you have to think about. What I mean is, will there be a time where the two of you can live in the same country or be closer together? Specifically, is this a realistic stage that you can meet? For example, you live in different countries, but one person says they’re moving to the other person’s country after finishing university. Here, you have a clear end in sight. You both know that the long-distance will be temporary, which makes the relationship a lot easier.
Trust me, it’s tough when you’re in a relationship, and you have no idea how long you’ll be apart for. You can’t expect to hold down a long-distance romance forever; it’s impossible! Realistically, it will only work if one of you has some clear aspirations to move to where the other person lives. This could be in a year, five years, maybe even ten years! As long as you know it’s not forever, it’s easier to deal with.
There you have it; three things to think about before starting a long-distance relationship. I’m not saying this type of romance is a good or bad thing – I just want to give you things to consider, so you make the right choice for yourself!
He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.
I think the key to being in a good long-distance relationship is having good self-esteem and self-worth. I have a friend who has been in a long-distance relationship with someone on a different continent for the past five years and they are happy with what they have, and no plans to move to a different continent in the future. That simply wouldn’t happen if both of them didn’t love their lives and see their relationship as something extra special on the top of everything else they already have.