Relationship Problems Nobody Talks About

As a Dating Coach, I understand that relationships are hard to generalise. Each of us has different interpretations of the boundaries of our relationships as well as what makes them healthy. Most of us agree on the bigger issues, like cheating. But when it comes to the smaller stuff, it’s hard to narrow down what problems actually exist in a relationship. Because of this, many people tend to ignore their relationship problems or look to make excuses not to fix them. We’re going to debunk 3 of the biggest relationship problems nobody talks about . If these relationship problems are ignored, they often lead to the end of the romance. If you can identify them and fix them, you’re looking at a healthy relationship by everyone’s standards.

1. We fight over little things, but it’s nothing serious.

This is one of the main relationship problems nobody talks about. We’re often led to believe that arguments in a relationship aren’t that serious. They aren’t about the important things, it’s just the small stuff but it isn’t always the case. The big arguments often start out as something small. Sometimes, it’s as small as leaving the toilet seat up. These little triggers can often be an indicator that something more important is wrong. However, if neither partner recognizes this, it can feel like you are arguing over nothing. The best way to come to end an argument like this is to really sit down and evaluate what happened. Maybe your partner feels unappreciated because you didn’t listen when they asked you to put down the toilet seat. The issue isn’t really the toilet seat and is more about feeling ignored. You’d fix this by trying harder to listen to simple requests in an attempt to make your spouse feel appreciated. Maybe you can even start helping out around the house to take some of the pressure off your spouse.

2. It’s okay to spend all your time together.

Many partners worry when they spend too much time apart. There’s a fear of drifting away from one another. There can be a fear of disloyalty. Sometimes, partners just miss each other when they’ve been apart for small quantities of time. But, time apart is actually a good thing. It’s an indication that you have a healthy relationship. When you spend too much time with your partner, you tend to lose sight of yourself. You put your own hobbies and desires on pause. If you aren’t, consider that your spouse may be. You may also grow dependant on one another, which puts additional pressure on any relationship. Having a few nights to yourself can help you to feel closer to your partner. You’ll rediscover things you enjoy and you’ll be able to share these things with your spouse. You’ll also build a stronger connection and learn to trust one another. Remember that saying: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes to grow stronger together, you have to take time apart.

3. It’s okay to talk about your problems with close friends.

You may have issues in your relationship that you want to talk about. However, you should only be talking to your spouse. By telling other people about your relationship problems, you’re likely to start an argument with your spouse. There are certain subjects within a relationship that should always be kept between the two of you. These subjects include anything sexual, any arguments/fights, money problems and even nit-picking about your spouse. If you feel like you can’t talk to your spouse about any of the above, there are communication issues in your relationship. Don’t waste your time telling a friend, who will only offer judgment and shallow solutions. Express your concern over the communication to your spouse and seek professional help. You need to learn to communicate.

You’ve likely noticed all three of these myths boil down to one common factor: Communication. Most relationship problems nobody talks about will boil down to a miscommunication. Without proper communication, any relationship is doomed to fall apart. It’s that simple.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.