She Has A Boyfriend But I Want to Get to Know Her

You’ve found the girl of your dreams. You agree about everything. You have everything in common. She makes you laugh and feel alive. You know you can always turn to her for advice. She is always there to talk and you know you can tell her anything. There’s just one problem… She has a boyfriend. Now you’re stuck asking “what do I do?”. It isn’t an easy situation, but it isn’t hopeless either.

Evaluate Your Reasoning

Before you get ahead of yourself, evaluate your reasoning: Why are you interested in her? Often times, we get attached to people who show us any kind of affection, even if it’s just a friendship. You need to know if you’re just looking for someone to fill space or if it’s really just her. If you can reason that she isn’t “the one”, you’ll be better off.

If It’s Her, 24/7

If you’ve decided that it’s just her, now you have wrestle with telling her. You don’t want to push her away or make things uncomfortable. At the same time, you want her to know you’re interested. There are two ways you can approach the topic: Be subtle or be blunt. If you’re going to be subtle, you may find she doesn’t “get” what you’re hinting towards. If you’re going to be blunt, you may risk ruining what you already have. Sometimes, it’s better not to say anything. Proceed with caution.

Actions Speak Louder

Whether you’re going to tell her about your feelings or not, she has a boyfriend. You need to be respectful of her and the relationship she is currently in. This means you have to be a friend, not push her. You won’t want to dote on her, buying her things and taking her out on dates. You can be there to listen to her and hang out. Be emotionally available, but don’t turn yourself into a doormat. Give yourself boundaries and follow them. If you find it too difficult, get out of the situation.

Be Realistic if She Has a Boyfriend

The worst thing you can do is try and guilt her into wanting to be with you. If she has a boyfriend, you have to assume she is happy with him. Even if you think she’d be happier with you, you can’t be pushy. You also can’t expect that she’ll leave her boyfriend for you. You want to avoid projecting your ideals on her. If the two of you are meant to fall in love, it will happen in its own time. You can’t rush it or force it. That said, there is always the possibility that she’ll want to be with you in the future. That doesn’t mean you should wait around, hoping for this outcome.

Move On if She Has a Boyfriend

As hard as it is to accept that it’s not going to work out, she has a boyfriend already. If you want to find your own happiness, you’re going to need to find it with someone else. Don’t fool yourself into believing that there’s no one else out there for you. Of course there is. In fact, there is probably someone much more compatible with you, just waiting for you to find her. Consider the best online dating site or dating app.

Although it may be tempting to try and “woo” her, you don’t want to be “that guy” who stole his girl from someone else. There may be unique circumstances, but as a general rule, it’s just a mean thing to do to someone. After all, you wouldn’t want someone to steal your girlfriend, would you?

If you want a girlfriend of your very own then do book a Dating Coach for Men session with me now.  You’ll be with someone in no time!

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.