Things Girls Wish Guys Knew about Dating Revealed
Speaking to a female dating coaching client last week, it was apparent that there are many things girls wish guys knew about dating and relationships. It seems that men and women perceive dating very differently indeed.
She is back on the dating scene after a long term relationship turned sour and was telling me about her experiences so far, most hilariously bad. One guy , whom she met on an online dating site seemed to just expect sex within 5 minutes of meeting her (He literally said “are you ready to head back to mine yet?”) while another thought it would be a good idea to talk obsessively about his dog which had died a month before. So guys, where are we going wrong in the world of dating?
I decided to ask the some other female dating coaching clients what their thoughts were on how a man could be a ‘good date’ and here are the main points which repeatedly popped up:
Be the man
If you ask a woman out, don’t expect her to decide on where to go on the date. Take control and show her you have ideas and motivation to set up a good evening you both will enjoy. Women appreciate effort and understanding so show her through your choice of venue. Also, if heading out to eat, always open doors out of courtesy and greet the waiter/waitress on arrival. Even specify that you would like a more discreet table in the corner where you have more privacy, this wont go unnoticed.
Be yourself
There is nothing more awkward than being with someone who isn’t comfortable in their own skin. Bad jokes, lack of eye contact and stuttering wont get you very far (unless you really do have a stutter of course!). Relax and enjoy the journey of getting to know her.
Sex-pectations
This was a reoccurring issue among the ladies I spoke to and it’s definitely one of the things girls wish guys knew about dating . Tinder, Happn and other popular dating apps have made picking up new mates easier than ever, but a lot of men seem to confuse female interest with sexual desire. Some ladies are up for a good time, which is great for them, but others just want a nice civilised conversation over coffee. It’s best to not jump into dating with expectations of easy sex, there are hundreds of online sites which cater for that.
Be appropriate
Swearing is a massive turn off and it’s definitely one the most important things girls wish guys knew about dating . If you have a mouth like an east London gutter tone it down for the first few dates at least. Topics of conversation shouldn’t be too sex based. Flirty is fine, but a direct question like “so what’s your favorite position?” may not go down too well with some ladies. Another girl friend of mine told me she was on a date and the guy thought it wise to burp the ABC at her in a swanky steak house. No matter how talented you think you are, keep the toilet humor and bad manners for the lads at the pub.
So, its pretty obvious what not to do on a date. I’m not saying its easy as dating can sometimes be hard work! But having a females point of view can make it that little bit easier. If you have female friends or family who are dating, ask them what they like and what they don’t like, it’ll give you an idea of where you are going right and what you are doing wrong.
Of course, if you’d like a little help then you could always book a dating coaching session with me.
