Confidence Coach James Preece
As a Confidence Coach, I know that a bad date can shake the confidence of almost anyone. You are left wondering what went wrong and if it was your fault or theirs. There is a chance you just weren’t compatible, but that’s a reality that’s hard to see when you’re in the moment. You may try to pretend nothing happened and fake your confidence for the next date. You may start questioning the entirety of your dating experience and think about stop dating altogether. The old saying “one bad apple doesn’t ruin the barrel” applies here. One bad date doesn’t mean you’re going to be alone forever. Instead of throwing yourself a pity party, it’s time to refresh that confidence!
Reframe Your Thinking
This is a trick used in many forms of therapy. It takes a negative thought and finds a way to make it positive. Instead of considering a bad date a “failure”, consider it a learning experience. It isn’t always easy to see the lesson hidden in “failure”, but there is always something to be taken from every situation. Learning to reframe your thoughts is a way to see a negative situation in a more positive light. Not only will this help you to maintain your confidence, but it’s appealing to a future partner.
Dress To Impress
The way you dress can make or break almost any date, so you want to look really good. That doesn’t mean you should forget about comfort. The best clothing selection should be comfortable and flattering. This combination is ideal for maintaining your confidence. Of course, the most important thing you can wear is your smile. But don’t forget to pay attention to your personal hygiene. No one wants to spend time with a slob.
When you’re on a date, ask about his/her ideal first date. Is there something different you could be doing that would sweep them off their feet? Try it. You could even try asking about their ideal partner. Does this ideal person sound like you? If not, you’ll know why they aren’t going to call you back and won’t need to feel bad about yourself. Always make sure you’re listening and watch for subtle cues in body language. A first date is informative and you don’t want to miss any information.
If you’re uptight on a date or anxious, you’re unlikely to get a call back. If you want to show you are confident, you need to be cool. You want to be able to laugh and feel care free. You want to be able to shrug off anything that doesn’t go according to plan. Adaptability is a sign that someone is confident in themselves and their abilities.
A final piece of advice from a confidence coach is this: No one else knows what they are doing either. Dating, like life, is a learning experience and it is unique for everyone. Although there are general tips for landing a date or meeting someone new, it is ultimately up to you to make it happen.
If you’d like some confidence coaching help, do drop me a message via my contact form.