Rebound Relationships are very easy to get yourself in to .

Whenever a relationship ends, we all find ourselves missing. Maybe we don’t miss the person we were with, but we miss having someone. We miss the comfort of chatting every day or sleeping beside someone at night. We miss the built-in movie date or someone to go out to parties with. Going from an “us” to a “me” can be harsh. Especially if you’re surrounded by people who keep commenting on the absence. This is loneliness in an ugly and deceptive form. Loneliness can lead us to miss things we’ve never had, romanticise past relationships and even push us into something we’re not ready for. Cue: The rebound.

Rebound relationships are about the falling out of the previous one. It means you’re hooking up with someone new fresh out of that last relationship. Almost everyone ends up in a rebound at some point or another. They almost always end the same way: Disaster city. No matter what you do to make it work, it simply won’t. This is because a rebound is like building a house on wet concrete. You have to give the concrete enough time to settle before it’s safe to start building on. You are the concrete.

Everyone needs a period of rest after a relationship ends. You need to get back in touch with yourself. Fill in the holes that have been left behind. Pick up the hobbies that you didn’t have time for. Spend time with the friends you never got to see. You need to take care of yourself. Even if you feel alright, there’s a period of adjustment you need to go through. For some people, this is only a couple of weeks. For others, it’s months. Those who let the period of adjustment last too long are simply hiding from future heartache, which is just as painful.

You’ll know when you’re ready to meet someone new as long as you listen to your heart. When you can think about your ex with no bitter feelings, no churning stomach or pain, that’s a good sign you’re almost ready. Almost. The next step is getting back out there. Meeting new people and dating again, perhaps with the help of a love coach. If you’re still sore about your ex, you’re not ready to date. This could result in rebound relationships.

Now, you may be wanting to get that ex back. You may believe they are the one, perfect for you and in general. While that may be true, you have to let a breakup take its own course. Pull yourself together. Remold yourself into a person you like and want to spend time with. Then put yourself back out there with a positive attitude. If you and the ex-lover are meant to be, you’ll bump into each other or something and the sparks will fly again. Otherwise, it’s time to put your focus on creating a new future.

Don’t be too held up on impressing “the one”. By working on who you are as a person and caring for your well-being, you are heading in the right direction to find someone special.

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.