Does The No Contact Rule Work?

When someone you love breaks a relationship off, it can be hard to adjust. Every part of you wants to contact them, mostly to ask them to reconsider. This is because they were a big part of your life, right? It’s hard to adapt to them being gone. Unfortunately, you have to accept that it is over. At least for now.

This is where the “no contact” rule comes in. But does the no contact rule work

If you don’t know what this rule is, it basically means that you have absolutely no contact with your ex. Many dating experts suggest waiting two months before reaching out, but that is a long time. Especially in the dating world. The best ballpark is to wait at least a month before trying to contact them. That means no text messages. No emails or phone calls.

Does the No Contact Rule Work with Social Media ?

Don’t message them on social media. Don’t comment on social posts. In fact, don’t check their social media accounts at all. For a month, pretend they don’t even exist.

One of the reasons the no-contact rule exists is to give your ex time to miss having you around.

If you are one of the people hoping that your ex will reconsider, the best thing you can do is give them this time and space. This gives them the opportunity to see if they really wanted away from you, or just needed to make some personal changes. Through this period of no-contact, your ex will be able to evaluate where they are and where they want to be. You are giving them the chance to reconnect with themselves. This could work out for you, with your ex reaching out and wanting to give it another shot. That would be good news, right?

It won’t happen if you do anything to prevent that period of personal reflection. You may think a simple “how have you been” message isn’t too bothersome. You’d be wrong. The ideal result of the no-contact rule is that they reach out to you when it is time. If they never do, it’s because they don’t want you in their life. It may be hard to accept, but it does happen.

Does the No Contact Rule work for your ex too? 

Yes absolutely. If your ex decides that they do miss you, they will appreciate that you gave them this time and space. By not having any contact with you, they are going to want you more than ever.

Of course, it’s easier said than done, right? The best thing you can do during this no-contact period is focus on yourself. You need time to reflect too. You can reconnect with old friends or pick back up an old hobby. You can even make new friends and develop new hobbies. The idea is to keep yourself busy. You don’t want to wait around hoping that your ex will contact you. This will only lead to severe disappointment if they don’t. Imagine reconnecting with your ex and they find out you sat around waiting. It’s not a good look. You want your ex to know that you’ll be alright, with or without them.

Does the no contact rule work if you had a really bad separation?

depends on your ex and how you handle the break-up. If you play it cool and give them space, you’re likely going to find it works for you. If you were emotional or couldn’t resist contacting them, there’s a good chance they won’t look back. It all boils down to patience and understanding.

So does the no contact rule work ?  Yes, but not for everyone!

 

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.