Haven’t we all seen the rom-com movie How To Lose a Guy in Ten Days? It is all about one woman who manages to attract, but then repel a guy all over again. Although the movie had a plot twist, where he was not going to let her go or he’d lose a bet, the female in the movie would have never actually been able to keep him, through a string or cringe worthy behaviors. Embarrassing him, calling his mother, and just generally suffocating, so early on as well, are usually signs that someone will quickly get turned off and ditch you quickly. 

The thing is, though, times have changed a little since that movie was released. We are all on social media, dating apps are huge, and with all of that brings plenty of new, and quite high-tech ways that you can actually lose a guy in ten days, or thereabouts. Being able to check up on where someone is, stalking all of their old photos, and generally being a little bit ‘bunny boiler,’ can all be ways to lose a guy, without you even really realising. With that in mind, here are some of the things that you shouldn’t be doing right at the start of the relationship, if you are really interested in someone. 

 

Change your Social Media / Facebook status

If you are a self-respecting woman, then you don’t need a relationship status on Facebook to validate you. There is nothing to prove, and who would it be even to prove it to? The friends and acquaintances on there don’t need to know that your long dry spell is now over, nor do you need them to validate what you are doing. Your closest friends and family members will know what you are doing anyway, so leave it there. It can be hard for anything new to get going if all that you are interested in is being able to put ‘in a relationship.’ It can also appear a little needy and scary, so best to avoid if you don’t want to lose a guy.

 

If you want to lose a guy then Stalk him

There are a number of ways that you can stalk the beau that you are currently interested in. For starters, you could stalk them literally. If you change up the coffee shop that you go to, your gym, or anything else like that, just to be able to ‘bump’ into him, then you need to rethink the situation, girl. When something is new, guys don’t want you to invade their space when they are just doing their normal routine. Plan to meet up, don’t just appear.

Nowadays, following someone isn’t the only way to stalk them. Any whiff of a full name and you can look them up online and on social media, and know where they went to school, where their last holiday was, and be ready to add their mother as a friend. Just, no! In the early days, getting too keen and adding him on every single social media channel is a big no. Don’t add him, don’t comment on photos, and go through and like photos from years ago. It will all be too much, especially if you go full-throttle and send requests on everything. Take it slowly, if things are going to go well, then you have plenty of time to find out about him and be Facebook friends.

 

Talk about other men you message or date

If you are on your first date, and you keep talking about the last people you were dating or the merits of your ex, then he is likely to run a mile. If you mention how many apps you’re on and how many men you message, then it can just be a bit much, and appear a little full on. In the early days, you don’t need to be super exclusive. But he still doesn’t need to know how many other people you are messaging. Of course, carry on with what you are doing, until you decide who you like best. Just keep all of that to yourself, otherwise he will think you’re not interested and quickly move on.

 

Have unprotected sex

No judgment here, you choose when, where, and who you sleep with. But one thing that neither you, nor him, should be doing, is not being safe. Make sure that you are happy with your choices, are both consenting, and that you take precautions for safe sex. If you won’t, or if he won’t, then you should avoid each other. You won’t want to end up catching something and having to seek treatment online for an STD. Be sensible and be safe.

 

Diss his friends

If you want to keep in the good books, especially with someone who is fairly new to you, then don’t hate on or slag off his friends. They are his safety and his people. In the early days, you won’t have shown that you are, so his loyalty will be with them. So if you do get to meet some of them, especially early on, don’t talk about them behind their backs to him. Don’t criticise and make an effort with them. Even if they are annoying, you want them to like you, so that they say to him how sound you are. As soon as you start slagging them off, the sooner that he will be getting ready to ghost you. 

 

Plan a trip

Dating should be fun, early days or not. But what it shouldn’t be is scaring someone away, because you planned a trip north to visit your parents, after two dates. That’s a great way to lose a guy. Although you might have a few ideas of things that you’d like to do on dates or places you’d like to take him, just take it steady. If he seems super keen too, then go for it. But the chances are that he won’t, and trips away will need to be well down the line. So plan in your head if you need, but not out loud.

 

 

Is there anything else that you would add to the list?

James Preece
Dating Coach and Dating Expert at The Dating Guru
James Preece is the Dating Guru.

He is the UK's leading Dating Coach and Relationship Expert, helping 1000s find love each year.