Once a happy relationship ends and you start going through a “messy breakup”, there are naturally going to be things which you badly wanted to say to your ex.

You’ll naturally want to have a long conversation about the problems you had or tell you miss them.  But you know that you really have to just keep your mouth shut! The feeling can be very frustrating and it requires great willpower, but you have to understand that there are things which you must NEVER say to your ex.

There are several reasons why an ex wants to reach out and whatever they are, it’s important that you need to be clear with yourself about your intentions. In most cases, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and cut off all communication. In order to heal, you both have to successfully accept the break up and start the moving on process. The lesson here is that regardless of your feelings toward him/her and how productive it can be to both of you during the moving on process, chances are that things are better left unsaid.

Below are 5 things which you must never ever say to your ex at any point, no matter how tempting!


These sort to statements are useless and frustrating. Once you have decided to break up, you must never expect to be friendly again.  This is because keeping in touch and trying to be “friends” will just be too hard for the both of you. You spend time opening up to each other and breaking down barriers, so it’s like a slap in the face when you break up. Never expect that you can easily hang out after a breakup since this can be hard to the other individual.  It may happen, but it will take a long time.


Whenever you feel you have something to say to your ex I highly recommend that you be clear about your intentions. Whenever you are communicating something, you need to consider the result or outcome you want to experience. Once you have broken-up with your ex, you must never have any “intention” of getting back together because it’s hugely unfair to them. You must avoid things that will only complicate matters and make it harder for them to move on.


After or during breakup with someone your truly care about, it’s essential to preserve their sense of worth and desirability. This can be done by proving them tangible and actual reasoning, along with evidence why you wanted to end the relationship. They deserve to have their ego and integrity preserved.

What they really want to hear is the well known phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” and they must have the real reasons why it didn’t work. If you are too vague they won’t believe you and won’t get closure until they hear the truth.


This is considered as a “cheap shot”.  Making yourself look bad is never a good thing and they’ll see it as a weak excuse.


Anything that will put their sexual ability down must never be mentioned….even if it is true.  It’s much better to leave someone feeling as happy and positive as possible.  If fact, why not tell them they were amazing and you are going to miss that side of things most?

If you are going through a bad break up then get in touch and book a dating coaching session with me.  I can’t promise to get your ex back or help you get over your ex, but I’m very experienced when it comes to dealing with everything.